11 February 2013

Always Be Polite to Potential Mad Axe Murderers

New on the website - French blue & iridescent
glass butterfly brooch, c1950
Okay, I am reintroducing to our shop the rule of all French shop keepers that customers must be polite at all times.  I mean it, people!  So if you come into my shop and ask me for my knowledge (gained over many years) and I give it to you (for free), you say thank you.  You don’t just say okay and turn and walk out.  And if you see Caleb snoozing on the desk you don’t say bizarre and rude things about him.  You keep your bizarre and rude opinions to your bizarre and rude self, and grit your teeth and be polite.  Grimace at me – I’ll kindly interpret that as a smile.  So anyway, this is now The Rule, and offenders shall incur my wrath rather than me just raising my eyebrow at them.

New on the website - Crown Devon ceramic
bowl, c1955
I mean, I do subscribe to the view that one should always be polite to potential mad axe murderers.  Having dealt with people armed with meat cleavers and big sharp knives (in a former life), none of whom were glad to see my happy smiling face, I know that the person who is armed is the person to whom you are polite.  Because, you know, there are all sorts of nutters out there who will stab you if you look at them the wrong way.  Let alone if you’re cheerily informing them that you’re arresting them and they will be deported forthwith.
New on the website - Cecily Barker
Cornflower Fairy, c1935
However, in my shop the person with meat cleavers and big sharp knives readily to hand would be me.  That alone should be reason for visitors to be polite, let alone common courtesy.  And yes, 99% of visitors are lovely and perfectly nice to have a chat with.  But then you get the people who can’t be bothered to be polite to anyone else.  I’m sure we’ve all met one of these creatures, who reckons they’re All That And More.  But I’ve had a run on them in the last week, including my own former neighbour, who I knew had a reputation for being a pig but I got to see it close up this week.  How can someone so stupid and entirely obnoxious get to be so rich?  Doug reckons it’s money laundering, but he reckons that about everything he doesn’t know the answer to. 
New on the website - French Damascene
Sailing Yacht Brooch, c1940
The former neighbour wasn’t in my shop but he was still unpleasant to watch in action, so he counts on my list of people you don’t have to make too many guesses about to understand why no-one likes them.  So I’m putting my foot down and reintroducing the French shop keepers’ rule of not dealing with a customer unless they are polite.  I have let this rule slip in recent times, but it’s back.  Eyebrow raising and pointed looks seem to be lost on most rude people, who are oblivious to all but themselves, and anyway I am rapidly getting an over-developed left eyebrow muscle and that will just look strange if I keep it up.

So ends the rant. 
New on the website - Cecily
Barker Poppy Fairy, c1935

But before I let it go entirely, just know that the next person who calls Caleb “it” and says Urgh, a cat, look at it, how hideous, I don’t know how you could even touch it, I’m a conservationist and if I had my way I’d just shoot it is going to get an atomic wedgy and be frog-marched to the door on their tippy-toes. Just for the record, I’m a conservationist too, and that’s why all my cats only ever leave the house on leashes (plus for their own protection because they are a long way from being top predator in the rainforests around our house). And Caleb is a beautiful boy who has never hurt another critter in his life – except for flies, but it’s a well known fact that All Flies Must Die if you’re a cat.

Look at this beautiful baby boy. 
Is your first reaction "I would shoot it if I had my way"?  That's cause you're not a nutter.

Okay, now ends the rant. 
Though I am still grumbling under my breath.

New on the website - French mother-of-pearl,
turquoise, onyx & carnelian Humming Bird
brooch/pendant, c1960
Meanwhile, sales have been excellent this week in the shop.  All of the Jamie Oliver giant wooden boards are now gone, but this week has been especially busy for pictures, jewellery and glass.  Doug has been too busy getting the landslide on our driveway fixed to work on tarting up any more copper for me, but I’m hoping he’ll get a few pieces done in the next few days.  I’ve got a few boxes of it to go.  The copper wall is looking downright bare right now, and we’ve got lots of lovely pieces so I want to restock the shop quick smart.  And I think I’ll frame a few more French magazine covers for the picture wall.  They always look especially nice framed, and we’ve sold so many pictures lately doing a bit of framing is becoming an essential task.  If you're nearby the shop come and have a look - the picture wall will look lovely.  Just remember The Rule.

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