In the last fortnight we stumbled across what turned out to be the best antiques auction we’ve ever attended in Australia. And it was in Kybong, of all places. Never heard of Kybong? Neither have most people. And that was a good thing in terms of great prices for the punters. We had no idea the auction was planned and only found it by accident as we travelled north to meet friends for lunch.
A couple of the major auction houses from Melbourne and Brisbane organised it, and because it was being held in Kybong they planned to have a live feed to enable internet bidding. The auctioneer told me that a great many people had registered to bid online. But did anyone think to check the internet speed available in a little out of the way spot in the middle of nothing much in Queensland? No they did not. So that meant that almost all of the internet bidders were thwarted, and that left just us in the room and a few phone bidders. Yay! So wow, there were bargains to be had. Even someone like me, who has an uncanny gift – it’s totally my Super Power – to compel every person in the room to bid on anything I have expressed an interest in – even I was able to snag some great buys.
The trouble is,
our next buying trip is in about a month and funds are tight thanks to Malcolm (see Blog of 25 June), so it wasn’t the
best time to be buying things for ourselves.
It’s always preferable to have enough money to buy wonderful things when
you’re in Paris, I say. And yet, and yet
… there were nice things that I just couldn’t resist. Most notable was a very nice French baker’s
bench which I intend for our kitchen-to-be, but if it doesn’t fit it will be
snapped up quickly enough as soon as I publically offer it.
I also bought
three lovely items, two vases and a jug & basin set, that I will present
for sale at the Nambour Antiques Fair on 7 September, unless they sell first. They are high quality pieces but I did such
good buying and I no longer have to charge retail prices, so I will be able to
offer them at considerably less than I’d have had to in the shop. That’s always good.
Even though we
didn’t buy much at this auction, it reminded me of the auction tactics I’m likely to see used
during our buying trip. Nothing is going
to stop a cashed-up punter prepared to bid silly amounts, and you’d be surprised
at how often people get over-excited at auctions and lose all reason. But there are still some tactics that can
make your rivals hesitate, and most dealers use them. Heed me now, Grasshoppers, while I divulge
some secrets of the trade:
First of all, forget everything you’ve ever seen on TV about people twitching their eyebrow and that counts as a bid. You’re allowed to have facial tics and they won’t accidentally cost you a lot of money. But you can’t wriggle too much. I often develop an irrational and overwhelming need to scratch my head in the middle of bidding, but I always try to control myself because putting your hand up does indeed count as a bid. You don’t have to make eye contact with the auctioneer to make a bid, although it’s something I always make a point of doing. But I’ve seen heaps of pretentious plonkers feign bored disinterest while they bid, pretending to read a newspaper while casually putting up their hand. Auctioneers are very indulgent of pretentious plonkers, and will always accept this type of bid.
So don’t accidentally present yourself as a pretentious plonker, because waving your hand in the air counts as a bid even if you’re really just flapping away a fly while you look out the window. You might get away once with spluttering that you weren't bidding even though you put your hand up. But do it again and you'll be asked to leave the auction room because this is business, people, with sometimes very large amounts of money on the table and you have to take it seriously.
So don’t accidentally present yourself as a pretentious plonker, because waving your hand in the air counts as a bid even if you’re really just flapping away a fly while you look out the window. You might get away once with spluttering that you weren't bidding even though you put your hand up. But do it again and you'll be asked to leave the auction room because this is business, people, with sometimes very large amounts of money on the table and you have to take it seriously.
But putting
your hand up, however you do it, isn’t an auction tactic - it’s just how you do
business in an auction room. As for tactics, there are some great ones you
can employ, some fun, some risky, and some variable in their success depending
on who your opposition is. A bold tactic
is colloquially known as Blasting them out
of the water.
Picture the
scene: you’re at a major art auction at
Sotheby’s. The room is full of extremely
well dressed and tremendously rich people. On a platform at the side of the room is a row
of Sotheby’s staff manning a bank of telephones and computers for anonymous and
international bidders. The bidding has
reached a stupendous level and is going up by increments of $100,000. The room is hushed and tense. Just then, a mystery person dressed all in
black and wearing sunglasses inside, strides into the room and interrupts
proceedings to loudly announce their bid, which is five times over the current
bid. The crowd gasps, all rival bidders
are dumbfounded, Sold! cries the
auctioneer.
Marly is allowed outside without a leash, but Caleb is not. Not fair!!! |
But boy this is
a gamble, and it depends on how experienced your opponents are. It can work well when you’re bidding against
punters – no offence punters, but you are often inexperienced in auctions and
if allowed to keep bidding by small increments you’ll just end up bidding silly
amounts. So you must be shut down. But if you’re going up against an experienced
bidder who knows exactly what you’re up to, the results can be variable. And that’s because experienced bidders know the
secret to use against someone trying to blast them out of the water: just because your rival has bid an extra-high
amount to scare you off, you don’t have to bid a similarly large amount – you
can just bid the auction’s next increment.
Lots of punters don’t realise this, so they stop as soon as the
extra-high bid is announced.
I once took on a
pretentious plonker who was determined to blast me out of the water. This man appeared to have limitless funds,
and affected bored indifference as he bid without looking, while reading his
newspaper. I was really put out at him
getting everything I wanted, because
after investing a day at an auction I want to walk away with lots of goodies
even though I don’t have limitless
funds. So when it became apparent that
he would bid whatever it took to secure an item and that occasionally he would
dispense with a rival by blasting them out of the water, I decided Game On. But only with one lot, because I didn’t
want him to realise that I was playing him and have the tables turned on
me. So just for one lot, every time he
bid extra high, I just bid the next increment.
So if you can imagine it, he was sitting there saying $500, and me saying “and 50”. So he says “$700” and I say “and 50”. And so on. It got scary, let me tell you, because I didn’t want the item we were bidding on that much. Doug came and sat next to me and hissed What are you doing??? I’ll stop in a minute, I whispered out the side of my mouth.
Eventually I lost my nerve and stopped bidding, but not before my rival had paid large for whatever the item was – I don’t even remember. But I do remember my heart pounding as the price went up and up. I was hoping like mad that he didn’t realise that I was just pushing him for the sake of it, and this wouldn’t be the one occasion in the entire auction that he gave up on something he wanted. But he didn’t, and even though I did get blasted out of the water in the end, the tactic didn’t work as intended because he had to do it a lot before he won, rather than just once. And I bowed out with lots of childish giggling. It was fun! Though let me say now in my most Serious Adult Voice that it was also silly and could have cost us a lot of money if it backfired and you shouldn’t try that at home.
Eventually I lost my nerve and stopped bidding, but not before my rival had paid large for whatever the item was – I don’t even remember. But I do remember my heart pounding as the price went up and up. I was hoping like mad that he didn’t realise that I was just pushing him for the sake of it, and this wouldn’t be the one occasion in the entire auction that he gave up on something he wanted. But he didn’t, and even though I did get blasted out of the water in the end, the tactic didn’t work as intended because he had to do it a lot before he won, rather than just once. And I bowed out with lots of childish giggling. It was fun! Though let me say now in my most Serious Adult Voice that it was also silly and could have cost us a lot of money if it backfired and you shouldn’t try that at home.
May Gibbs produced some really charming images and it's little wonder that she is an Australian classic. This picture is called A Busy Highroad. |
As a general
rule, when you’re not dealing with childish and vengeful rivals like me, Blasting them out of the water can be
such a successful tactic in shutting down an auction that many mid-range auction
houses in England don’t allow it.
Australian auction houses usually do let you do it, and the really
prestigious auction houses in both countries also generally allow it because
doesn’t do to insult ultra-rich clients, whatever games they are playing. The only way to discover an auction house’s
policy is to just try it – either they’ll get all snippy and inform you
that you may bid only the next increment, or they’ll let you take control and
bid whatever you want.
In
a future Blog I shall divulge other auction tactics that are easier and less
risky than Blasting them out of the water. Perhaps I’ll talk about the simple tactic I
used at Kybong. But first I’ll see if I
end up at any auctions on the buying trip and let you know what tactics were used.
We were planning to attend an auction in Cornwall, but have abandoned that idea
to have a Play Day instead, and go on what is considered the best steam railway trip in the world,
up in the Highlands of Scotland. It's the train they used as the Hogwarts Express for the Harry Potter movies, which goes along the route that was partially filmed for the movies. Sounds
more fun than sitting in a stuffy old auction room all day.
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