13 November 2013

Shorts and Long Socks - Gah!

Who told you this looks
good, fellas?  No-one,
that's the answer.
So yes, the weather has been decidedly hot lately.  And yes, it’s good to feel comfortable when you’re out and about in hot weather.  But men wearing shorts and long socks is just wrong.  Unless you’re going for the I’m-an-old-fuddy look, that is. 

I have informed Doug that if he ever gets knocked on the head and wakes up insanely deciding that he’s going to appear in public wearing shorts and long socks, he’s going to get knocked on the head again and dragged back inside.  It’s the same with hairy-old-man-ears and hairy-old-man-nose – it’s not going to happen on my watch.

This is one of the Lea Stein brooches I brought
back from our buying trip.  It's a beautiful pale
mandarin colour, which is really rare.  I'm
particularly looking out for the more unusual
colours, these days.  This one is $120.
But maybe I’m getting it all wrong.  Maybe this is actually a devilishly clever way of making women look at you.  Because, you know, when confronted with a man who is wearing shorts and long socks, coupled with hairy-old-man-ears and nose, you really can’t help but look.  It can be fascinating, in a compelling but alarming is-that-a-small-animal-emerging-from-his-nose-or-what? kind of way.  The shorts and long socks make you look, and then you're trapped by the ear and nose accoutrements and can't turn away, frozen in place by the sight of the petting zoo surfacing on some guy's face. 

This is one of the reproduction travel
advertisements I'm now offering. 
Dang but we used to produce really
good travel adverts.  All the
reproduction images are $14.
And at this point let me send a big, cheery hello to Anton-the-former-Landlord, who I saw this week and who was the inspiration behind this rumination.  My, but he is a fine figure of a man.  Okay that’s a lie – shorts and long socks really, truly don’t work on anyone, even in beige.  Especially in beige.  I must get a photo soon – such sartorial elegance should not go unappreciated.

So ha! now I’ve put that image in your brain and I’m not sorry.  If I had to look at this sight, you have to share.  Mind you, as much as it made my eyes spasm, Anton-the-former-Landlord just made a fuddy style choice that he wasn’t embarrassed to be seen wearing in public.  The most spectacular gee-please-no fashion choice I’ve ever seen was the time Doug and I were strolling along Noosa main beach and saw an older man, tanned all-over to a deep mahogany colour, with a big fat belly and wearing a Borat-style mankini.  Now that really was a Gah! My eyes! moment. 

Now this is rare.  It's from French Vogue,
June 1930.  It's good enough to have
made it into my reproduction catalogue,
but the original is still available.  The
original is $120, but the reproduction
is only $14.  You can see why the
repros are proving to be so popular.
A ripple like a Mexican Wave passed through the crowd on the beach as everyone reacted when he walked by on his way down to the water.  We kept looking around, convinced that there must be hidden cameras somewhere, but apparently not.  It was just a dude in a mankini, entirely comfortable in his own skin, going for a swim.

But on to more attractive images to put in your brain.  Collectorama was held the Saturday before last, and it was another success.  It wasn’t as good as the September Fair, which was really very good, but good enough that we’ve booked a double space again for the next Fair.  But the next Fair isn’t until next March, more’s the pity.

I'm showing you the
particularly unusual
pieces this week.  This
is another of the Lea
Stein brooches, again
in a really rare colour.
This time around we sold heaps of reproduction French images and advertisements.  Maybe I should have given in to the inevitable and offered reproductions in the shop, but I was too much of the purist back then.  But I am now reformed and have decided to move with the times.  Mostly I still offer genuine images, but I am gradually selecting the best ones to reproduce.  I have them copied to A3 size (much larger than normal reproductions) and then offer them for $14 each.  So of course they’re popular.

The big bookshop in Eumundi, Berkelouw’s, expressed an interest in carrying a range of our reproduction travel advertisements, which we recently picked up in Paris and which are seriously good.  The manager of Berkelouw's said she had never seen reproductions with such clarity and good colour resolution, and I must say I agree with her – which of course is why I bought them.  So I dropped off a good selection of them, and we’ll see how they go. 

Back in the day the French favoured
naked women to advertise their
bicycles.  I expect they still do.
This is one of two naked-gel-on-
bike advertisements that I found
on our latest jaunt to Paris.
Meanwhile, I have a different selection of vintage French advertisements and magazine covers and images, some genuine and some reproduction, in Oople, the little shop in Eumundi a few doors down from our old shop.  And now I’m preparing yet another batch of completely different ones for what I hope will be our market stall at the Peregian Beach Market. 
The manager of that market told me that she really loves this type of thing, and hopefully so will everyone else.  My plan is to eventually have a selection of my vintage and reproduction pictures in every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse within a 6 mile radius**.
Another image we found in
Paris, but this one's Italian.
But back to Collectorama.  We also sold quite a few pieces of jewellery, a beautiful big French walnut over-mantle mirror with good patination that had been languishing in our garage for the last 15 years, three of those lovely glass birds that came back in my hand luggage from our most recent trip, vintage kimono fabric and vintage French ticking, and various other bits and pieces of glass and ceramics.  It was a long and tiring day, but good fun and worth it.  And this time we had purchased a couple of marquees to protect us from the afternoon sun, so we were sheltered and comfortable.
Early the next morning we headed off for another look at the Peregian Beach Market.  It’s in a lovely location next to the surf lifesavers club on the sand dunes immediately behind Peregian Beach.  I really like the shopping precinct there, I like the beach and the facilities there, and I like the Sunday market there.  So it will be nice if we can get a space, and we’ve submitted the paperwork to get that ball rolling.  So again, we’ll see what happens next.  More on that soon.
These boys really are aspiring
supermodels, but even they look
naff in shorts and long socks.
But in the meantime, fellas, I don’t care how hot it is - you can do better than shorts and long socks.  Put some effort into it!  Ask your partner whether this is a look that is really working for you.  Love might be blind, but it’s not tasteless so she - or he - knows the truth.  And the truth is, shorts and long socks only work on ridiculously skinny, ridiculously attractive (female!) supermodels.  Anton-the-former-Landlord is many things, but he’s no supermodel.  Neither are his style-guru brothers-in-arms. 
** With apologies to Tommy Lee Jones.
Meanwhile, back at the house ... here's a couple of the boys working on the floor of the breezeway.  There's not a builder's bum in sight.  Pity.
All the verandah and room floors should be down in the next week or so.  Lock up won't come before Christmas, but that's okay because we've come back from the buying trip super broke and need to regroup for a little while.

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